


Should I be Honest?

by butterkyun



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Based on their song Honestly, F/M, Hyungnu is still my underdog otp tbh, One sided Hyungnu, almost cheating, fem!hyungwon, fem!wonho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 15:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16600820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterkyun/pseuds/butterkyun
Summary: Oh ah, I loved you more than anyone elseYou were the most beautiful girl in the universeWhat exactly happened to me?I wanna turn back time





	Should I be Honest?

**Author's Note:**

> Genderbend Hyungwon-> Dodo  
> Genderbend Wonho -> Shino
> 
> I was going to use Wonhee for the name, but I just love Wonho's old stage name so much i just had to///
> 
> Also I know it's not even nearing xmas yet but my ass can't help but finish this one bc i love wonhee so very much

Hyunwoo knows that what he’s doing all this time is wrong. He tried to deny his feelings, lying to himself every single time he wakes up from the sweet escape of sleep. They haven’t tied the knot yet because Shino is not really that keen on the idea of marriage. Of course, Hyunwoo understands and let the idea go almost immediately. They've known each other since high school, so Hyunwoo knows how uncomfortable Shino is when the topic is brought out.

Despite Hyunwoo wanting to settle down and have kids, he can’t because it’ll be selfish of him to pressure Shino like that. So they decided to live together instead, keeping their status as lovers instead of husband and wife. Hyunwoo’s mother tried to stop them, but Hyunwoo’s too stubborn. Nothing can separate them both.

That is until Shino got the job offer at one of the most prestigious music industry in South Korea. It has been her lifelong dream to compose music. When she received the news, she immediately called Hyunwoo who was still stuck in a traffic jam on the way home. Hyunwoo has never driven his car so fast his entire life.

Shino decided to move out and rent an apartment near her workplace because of the distance of their home and her new office is too far away. Hyunwoo was sad, but he let her go. Shino promised that she would call Hyunwoo every day and visit every weekend, it made Hyunwoo less worried at the very least.

The first week without the company of his girlfriend was incredibly lonely for Hyunwoo. He learned that cooking anything other than ramyun is hard, cleaning the house is really tiring, and waking up alone, without Shino’s bright, pretty smile greeting him every morning proofing to be extremely hard for him. He really missed his girl.

Lately, Shino hasn't tried to contact him in any way. No phone calls, no emails, no messages,  _ nothing _ . Hyunwoo was worried sick. But then, he remembered that Shino might be on a tight schedule and is actually very busy with her job, so he decided to not bother her for the meantime. It's probably the best for both of them.

For the past couple of weeks, he had noticed that a lot of his co-workers are acting strangely. Maybe because Shino wasn’t there to occupy his mind, he noticed a lot of things that are actually going on around him. He knows that the juniors liked to talk to him a lot, but only now he noticed that their gazes linger a little bit too long for it to be considered as  ‘ _ staring _ ’. 

One person, in particular, went as far as to  _ not-so-subtly  _ flirt with him. She’s a young woman working as the boss’ personal assistant, but her beauty beats even the top magazine models. Her long, silky brown hair flowed graciously every time she walked pass by the office area. She’s almost as tall as Hyunwoo, which is very unusual for a woman’s height, and she also has a thin and slim body, very contrast to Shino’s curvy figure. He had heard that the young woman was once a model, but she quit after entering the company.

Hyunwoo tries to deny all of the young woman’s advances, saying that his heart already belongs to someone else, but the woman is really stubborn. In the end, he got Dodo’s phone number. Hyunwoo swears on his life that every male in the company hates him for possessing such a treasure. 

He can’t really lie to himself. The woman reminded him so much of Shino back when they both were still young, back when the cold, harsh reality hasn’t settled into their young minds just yet. Dodo is usually quiet but at the same time, she can be playful and cute, just like his girlfriend. The young woman also opens up to him first, much like Shino did back then. Dodo also never really force him to do or say anything, saying that she completely enjoys the silence, which came as a relief because god knows how awkward Hyunwoo can be.

In a way, Dodo is like Shino, but at the same time, the young woman is also the polar opposite of her.

One thing in particular that differentiate both of them was their appetite. Shino has always been a big eater and she's not shy to admit it. Not only that, but she also loves the same type of food as Hyunwoo. It's only natural that they bond together so well.

Dodo, on the other hand, doesn't like to eat very much. Hyunwoo noticed that Dodo rarely come to the cafeteria and much rather have a brief nap instead. So as any other good-hearted person would, Hyunwoo asked the younger about it.

“I just don't like food that much,” Dodo responded while smiling, combing her thick, wavy brown hair. Hyunwoo was taken aback by the answer. Is it possible for someone to  _ not _ like food? He guessed that because he's so used to seeing Shino eat, Dodo’s habit just came as a great shock.

Hyunwoo sighed, concerned about the young woman’s health. Sure, she looks  _ absolutely _ gorgeous, but Hyunwoo noticed that other than her plump cheeks, she has little to no fat in her. So Hyunwoo did what he does best, accompanying people to eat outside. Shino has always enjoyed his company, so he hoped that it would work on Dodo too.

Turns out, Dodo really enjoyed going to Hyunwoo’s favorite BBQ restaurant, just a few blocks away from work. He used to go there with Shino on random occasions. It’s been a while since he last visited the place. Nostalgia hit him when Dodo beamed at the wide selection of food the restaurant offers. Shino got as excited back when she visited the restaurant for the first time. Hyunwoo smiled weakly at the thought. He caught Dodo staring at him with a weird expression. He just smiled at the girl and she hid her face behind the menu.

Every day he spent together with Dodo felt  _ fun _ . He discovered so many sides of Dodo that people rarely had the chance to see. 

Like how picky she is with food. Dodo only eats the food that she actually likes. She doesn’t really like eating foreign food, except when there’s meat involved. Hyunwoo discovered this particular trait when they went to the brand new Thai restaurant opening near the train station. Dodo was hesitant at first, but once Hyunwoo ordered, Dodo couldn’t help but practically drool at the sight of the vast array of food. So Hyunwoo did what Hyunwoo always do, which is sharing what he has. Turned out, Dodo really liked all the food that Hyunwoo ordered. She even asked the male to go there again the next day. 

One thing that Hyunwoo noticed is that Dodo laugh. a. lot. Shino laughs at his jokes too but Dodo’s reaction was just so over the top it became adorable. She once fell down on the floor wheezing just because Hyunwoo made a smart comment about their boss. It was endearing in a way. The girl usually looks beautiful and graceful, but when she laughs she looks really small and adorable. Again, it reminded Hyunwoo of Shino.

Days turn to weeks turns to months. When Hyunwoo realized, it’s almost Christmas Eve. Shino had already promised to go home so they could spend Christmas together, hence why Hyunwoo’s so giddy since morning. Just before he wrapped up his work, his phone rang. He picked up and the voice from the other line made him smile almost instantly.

_ “Hi, Hyunwoo! I hope I’m not interrupting your work,”  _ Shino’s ever so bright voice made his heart clench with longing.

“I’m just packing up and ready to leave now. What time are you going to get home? You’ll miss the last train if you do not hurry,” Hyunwoo replied with a playful laugh. He’s really looking forward to cuddling with Shino all night long, probably binge some dumb drama and cook Shino’s favorite ramyun that he bought a few days ago. 

_ “Uhm… About that….” _

Hyunwoo’s smile faltered. 

Shino’s voice softened ever so slightly _ , “I… I can’t go home today… I have a song that I need to make and I don’t want to delay the release,” _ Hyunwoo felt like he’s being punched in the gut, hard.

He heard a door open and saw Dodo peeking into the room, already clad in her thick coat and scarf. The young woman signaled him quietly, asking him for a drink.

_ “I’ll probably be home in mid-January if-” _

“That’s okay, you can take your time. Good luck with work,” Hyunwoo did not mean to make his voice so cold and distant, but he couldn't help it.

Shino was quiet for a few seconds before talking again with an odd tone,  _ “I-I’ll call you later, okay? I have to go now,” _ Hyunwoo resisted his urge to sigh for the sake of sparing his lover’s feelings. God knows how sensitive Shino is towards his slight change of emotion. Just before Hyunwoo had a chance to reply, Shino whispered a soft,  _ “I love you,” _ before hanging up.

Dodo noticed the grim expression on Hyunwoo’s face, but she decided to not point that out loud. She leaned on the door frame, silently waiting on Hyunwoo’s answer on her invitation. Hyunwoo noticed the younger’s attention on him and immediately snapped out of his daze. 

Hyunwoo didn’t even think twice before grabbing his bag and coat. Dodo beamed when he threw a small smile at her and immediately followed him outside. They got inside of Hyunwoo’s car, not uttering a single word on the way towards the bar. Dodo was fine with it because over the past few months she had gotten used to the silence.

They were lucky the bar had a single table left because almost every store was packed with people. Although it was quite far from the main entrance, practically sitting on the corner of the crowded bar was actually okay with Hyunwoo. They both ordered some food and tons of alcohol. 

Dodo was quiet since they were still at the office. The young woman fixed her slightly messy hair and tied it into a loosely tied bun. The gesture really reminded him of his mother.

Maybe his co-workers were right. He really is the luckiest man on earth, having a very beautiful young woman practically drooling over him since day one. He really is a stupid man for ignoring said woman’s advances. Everyone was right. He really should just  _ go with the flow _ and stop  _ being such a square _ .

One glass turned into bottles upon bottles of  _ soju.  _ Hyunwoo’s a heavy drinker, but with that much alcohol inside his system, even he would feel a little bit woozy. Dodo, on the other hand, was practically already flying like a kite, high up in the sky. The young woman laughed hysterically every time Hyunwoo cracked a joke, no matter if it was insanely good  _ or _ horribly bad.

The alcohol really did some numbers to Hyunwoo’s brain. His emotions were all over the place. Frustration, anger, betrayal, disappointment all crashing into one big lump of self-hatred and regret. He knew it’s wrong, but he really wished that Shino didn’t take the offer. His days were filled with warmth before Shino moved to the big city to live her lifelong dream. 

Dodo leaned closer and closer each time Hyunwoo took a sip out of the bottle of alcohol. The older male noticed, but he really, really couldn’t care any less. The strong scent of flowers from Dodo’s expensive cologne was really doing things to him. The younger woman propped her tiny head right onto Hyunwoo’s broad shoulder. From his point of view, he could see the younger woman’s red, pouty lips around the clear glass of alcohol. Hyunwoo never noticed how kissable Dodo’s lips are. It somehow reminded him of Shino’s own, but a little bit plumper. 

Dodo somehow noticed Hyunwoo’s strong gaze directed right at her lips and she turned her head around, staring right into his eyes. Hyunwoo’s gaze moved from focusing on her lips alone to her whole face. Dodo’s cheeks were burning red. Her rich, dark, brown eyes were focused on Hyunwoo and Hyunwoo only. The sober Hyunwoo would’ve smiled and brushed it off like it was nothing, but the intoxicated, sad, lonely Hyunwoo had something else in mind.

He did what his body told him to do without even thinking twice and leaned in. Dodo closed her big, round eyes and did the same. The smell of Dodo’s perfume only added to Hyunwoo’s growing desire.

_ Ping! _

The sound of his phone’s notification practically slapped him back into reality. He awkwardly moved away from Dodo and grabbed his phone. With shaky fingers, he unlocked his device and saw a message notification popping up above his screen.

His heart almost stopped when he read the message over and over again.

**_  
_ **

Hyunwoo suddenly realized what he was doing. What was he thinking? Bringing a vulnerable, lovesick girl to a bar, in the middle of the night when he was already someone else’s. He felt horrible.  _ What was he thinking? _

“Do-”

“Just...Just contact this number and tell him to pick me up,” She shoved her phone, showing a phone number named ‘ _ idiot’,  _ decorated with some cute emojis. Hyunwoo was taken aback by the response. He thought Dodo would get mad and slap him, or threw his phone away and seduce him, like those late-night dramas Shino liked to watch. He carefully took the phone out of the young woman’s hand and typed in a message.

He handed the phone back after hitting the  _ send _ button. Dodo glanced up from the table, unintentionally meeting Hyunwoo’s gaze. She slammed her head back on the table, waving both of her hands, a silent  _ goodbye _ to the older. Hyunwoo smiled, waving back even though he knew that Dodo couldn’t really look at him.

He walked towards his car and dumped his work bag on the front seat. He immediately closed the car door, not forgetting to lock the car back. Hyunwoo decided to stroll around the town for a while to sort his thoughts. Driving while he’s this drunk would also be a dumb thing to do, so he tightened his scarf around his neck and started to walk.

Hyunwoo strolled all alone in the cold, yet warm night. People around him were holding hands, snuggling with each other, and some were even making out under the arrays of mistletoe spread all across the brightly lit shops. Hyunwoo wrapped himself up with his favorite black coat and red scarf, both given by Shino on his 17th and 22nd birthday. The way Shino looked at him, cheeks dusted pink and red lips forming into a small, shy smile while muttering  _ happy birthday _ softly would never leave Hyunwoo’s memories no matter how hard he tries.

It’s been a while since they both knew each other. Started as friends in 10th grade and stayed together as a couple until they’re 27. They're your average, typical, storybook-like high school sweetheart-  _ except _ in this story, they didn't marry each other as soon as they graduated college. Most of their friends from high school are married with kids already. And here he is, almost destroying their whole ten years of stable, happy relationship just because of his selfish desire.

He walked towards the train station, body exhausted and mind clouded with thoughts. About work, about himself, about Dodo, but mostly about Shino. He missed the warm smile when she greeted him by the door after a long hard day, he missed the way she enthusiastically tells him about her day, he missed listening to her ranting about her latest piece being out of tune, he missed  _ his _ Shino more than anything. He hasn't felt the familiarity the woman offers unconditionally in a long while and he felt like dying inside.

"Son Hyunwoo!” 

The man froze. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He must be dreaming, or delusion finally kicked in with how much stress and guilt he has been piling up.

But there she was. 

Hyunwoo’s spring, his bright star, his world, his  _ everything _ . Her hair was noticeably shorter and it looked like she’s straightened it into a cute bob. The thick padded black coat, matching with Hyunwoo’s own, was wrapping her body, which looked a lot skinnier than he last remembered. And of course, the ever so beautiful gummy smile. Warm and perfect, reserved just for him.

She ran towards him, the pretty, adorable smile never leaving her lips. Beads of tears started forming on her perfect almond-shaped eyes as she gets closer and closer to Hyunwoo. Before he could even grasp the situation, a pair of perfectly toned arms looped themselves around his waist. 

Hyunwoo’s heart skipped a beat as the woman looked up, staring at him with nothing but affection and longing. Her smile widens as tears finally rolled down her chubby cheeks.

“You’re smiling like a fool, Shino.”

Hyunwoo didn’t know why but those words just slipped from his tongue. Shino just stared at him, an expression like that of a confused, pure, little bunny. Hyunwoo braced himself for the worst. A slap, a punch, or a painful  _ goodbye _ .

But Shino laughed. 

Her ever so bubbly, adorable, contagious laugh. Hyunwoo didn’t know how the thick, cold snow under his feet managed to not melt at the sight of the bright sunshine that was standing right in front of him.

“I’ve been waiting for you here for so long, and now you’re finally here, in front of me. How can I  _ not _ smile?” The genuine delight in her voice hit Hyunwoo like a speeding truck. The most beautiful girl in the universe, the woman that he loved with all his heart, Lee Shino, stood out there in the cold, all alone amongst all the lovey-dovey couples and piss drunk old men,  _ just for him. _

She’s a fool.

But Hyunwoo’s even bigger of a fool forever entertaining the thought of abandoning the love of his life, his stupidly adorable, pale, beautiful  _ angel _ .

“Let’s go home, I’ll cook you some ramyun,”

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's been so long since I wrote anything that people would think I'm dead or something lmao  
> As always, if you want to ramble and share showho pics/ideas with me hmu! This lonely soul doesn't bite!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! Thank you very much for reading ♡
> 
> twt @butterkyun  
> tumblr @pinkprincesswonho


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